Tuesday, March 04, 2014
Dad’s Naughty & Nice Themed Christmas Menu
Color coded (naughty is in red, nice is in green)
Dad’s Naughty & Nice Christmas Menu 2013
Starters:
Before Naughty, before Nice, feel free to enjoy a small dish by
request...
o Quinoa
B – Your father’s famous
quinoa, broccoli, black bean, garlic, soy and sriracha masterpiece
Main
Course: Ok, now that you’re warmed up, it’s time to start
the N&N schizophrenia!
o Santa’s Shrimp – Seriously,
these were Santa's shrimp. At least until I walked right up, grabbed ‘em
and took off. Even w my compromised cartilage, I can outrun the elderly
obese. Best part? He actually gave me a whole sock full of
charcoal which I used to grill these to perfection. Santa’s a Sucker!!!
o Luscious Lobster Rolls – Friend, while simultaneously meditating and
marveling at the wonder of marine life (as I frequently do), I was blessed with
a vision of the perfect lobster roll.
As sharing is my favorite thing, I’ll share it with you! Succulent lobster steamed to perfection,
served on soft bread with butter and sea salt.
o Conflicted
Combo: It’s ok.
It happens. Especially on
holidays.
Sides: Each
with its own effect...
o Medieval Mashed Potatoes - so
what happens to a bag of potatoes that offends me? I'll tell you what
happens - I go medieval on the spuds. I
skin 'em, cut 'em up, boil ‘em, mash ‘em to a pulp, season ‘em just right, and
serve ‘em to my relatives. Mwuh Ha Ha Ha (evil laugh). If you want
some, I suggest you ask nicely!!
o Sautéed Green Beans – Friend, you're no doubt aware that among my many charitable pursuits,
I maintain a garden to feed the hungry. My green bean harvest was
blessedly bountiful this year, so I've taken some of the surplus and sautéed a
delightfully healthy side dish for your enjoyment. Though I must warn
you, while my heart harbors no anger whatsoever, you might find a touch of
anger in this dish – they’re SHPICEY!
o Cheezy Grits – What, you want an explanation?? Ain’t nobody got time for that!!
o Manna from Kevin – Friend, I don’t particularly like rolls, but I know
you do. So I grabbed a recipe and made
these - from SCRATCH – just for you.
They’re lovely as you’d ever care, and I’ll serve them hot and with any
accouterment you’d like – butter, jam, honey – you name it. I just want you to be happy.
Beverage: Wash
away the confusion with one of the following fine beverages...
o NOJWAK – Nippy Orange Juice With A Kick – yo, just don’t ask where it will
kick ya!! (hint, it’s right in th
o Goose Island Root Beer – Friend, real beer at your age could be problematic,
but a bottle or two of root beer is just fine, particularly for someone as fit
and attractive as yourself. Golly, you
make me smile.
o Melted polar ice (from the North Pole) – wanna help me accelerate global
warming?? Mhuh Ha Ha Ha!!!!
Dessert: The
Ultimate Naughty and Nice dessert...
o DMS- Dad’s
Milk Shake – Friend, this is perfection in a
glass. So smooth, so nice. Enjoy it now - before you develop
the same milkshake intolerance I have – because I didn’t just make the milk
shake, I made you too!!! Mwuh Ha Ha
Ha!!!
Serendipity III
The Art of Being Precise
Now look at the second.
Do you see why Garett had to go back and “fix” his mistake?